Clichés

By Jay Goodman

Has anyone ever thought about the old clichés that our parents and grandparents used to tell us? I am sure most of us remember birds of a feather flock together. Patience is a virtue. The early bird gets the worm. These are just a few of the old sayings I used to hear growing up. When I was a kid, I never thought much of it. But as I started growing older, I started asking my grandfather why he kept telling me these old sayings? He smiled at me and said, “because I want you to understand how to look at life in a different perspective. Most people just wonder through life aimlessly never seeing the big picture. They make the same mistakes over and over, then blame everyone around them for their ill luck.” I started to think about what he was telling me, and for the first time I thought about some of his old clichés. I was too young at the time to really grasp the full meaning of what they meant. But over the years my grandfather would give me examples of each saying. My grandfather was a very intelligent man, who had an uncanny ability to read people. His outlook on life is much different than others. He would call me to him at times and say, “do you see this guy?” I would say “yes.” He would go on to tell me how this man’s life would turn out. And afterword I would ask him, “how he would know?” And he would use the old clichés to explain this man’s mistakes in his life. He would say, “it’s one thing to make a mistake in life, but it’s insanity to keep making it over and over.” I remember one guy that my grandfather used to do business with, I had known this man since I was a kid. And I can remember he was always in a hurry. While I was raised to always be on time, I was also taught the importance of patience. My grandfather said to me, do you see this guy? I said “yes.” “Look at CLICHÉS By Jay Goodman

Has anyone ever thought about the old clichés that our parents and grandparents used to tell us? I am sure most of us remember birds of a feather flock together. Patience is a virtue. The early bird gets the worm. These are just a few of the old sayings I used to hear growing up. When I was a kid, I never thought much of it. But as I started growing older, I started asking my grandfather why he kept telling me these old sayings? He smiled at me and said, “because I want you to understand how to look at life in a different perspective. Most people just wonder through life aimlessly never seeing the big picture. They make the same mistakes over and over, then blame everyone around them for their ill luck.” I started to think about what he was telling me, and for the first time I thought about some of his old clichés. I was too young at the time to really grasp the full meaning of what they meant. But over the years my grandfather would give me examples of each saying. My grandfather was a very intelligent man, who had an uncanny ability to read people. His outlook on life is much different than others. He would call me to him at times and say, “do you see this guy?” I would say “yes.” He would go on to tell me how this man’s life would turn out. And afterword I would ask him, “how he would know?” And he would use the old clichés to explain this man’s mistakes in his life. He would say, “it’s one thing to make a mistake in life, but it’s insanity to keep making it over and over.” I remember one guy that my grandfather used to do business with, I had known this man since I was a kid. And I can remember he was always in a hurry. While I was raised to always be on time, I was also taught the importance of patience. My grandfather said to me, do you see this guy? I said “yes.” “Look at time in prison has trouble with this. Why it may be an old cliché that everyone thinks it’s old-school. How many people in prison right now want to do something like write a book? Get into shape? Learn how to trade in the stock market? I have heard this literally hundreds of times since I’ve been in prison. In fact, I wish that I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard prisoners say, I’ll do it tomorrow. Of course, when tomorrow comes it’ll be the next day, the next week, and then the next month. And before you know it, it’s next year. People will spend their entire lives thinking just like this, and wonder why they can’t accomplish anything in their lives.

Another cliché of my grandfathers was “the early bird gets the worm.” I am sure most people have heard that. One day I asked my grandfather “why do you keep telling me this?” He just looked at me, and smiled. The very next morning around 5 o’clock he woke me up, and said, “come into the kitchen, I want to show you something.” As I walked into the kitchen, he handed me a cup of coffee and said “do you remember yesterday when you asked me, why I always say the early bird gets the worm?” “Yes,” I said. He said, “come look out the window with me.” I walked to where he was. “Look out in the yard, what do you see?” I saw around 10 birds on our lawn. He said, “in the evening a dew fall on the grass and all of the worms will come out. Especially after a good rain. And they will stay out until the early morning hours. Right about the time the sun comes out they will go back into the earth. So, this is why the old cliché goes the early bird gets worm. The cycle of life doesn’t change, we are designed to go to sleep at night, and awake in the morning. As you know yourself times are changing. People have become lazy, and it’s getting worse. Today’s men sleep too much, eat too much, then wonder why they’re fat, and why they can’t accomplish nothing. Don’t ever fall into the trap of allowing yourself to be this way. When I told you these clichés throughout your life, I wanted to teach you. Most people never understand that a lot of these old sayings hold some of life’s greatest lessons.” I still sit there drinking my cup of coffee thinking about what he had said.

After a few minutes my grandfather said, “have you ever thought about the other cliché, “birds of a feather flock together?” “No,” not like I’m thinking of this. He said, “this one holds a lot of information about a person. This cliché will give you a look into a man’s thoughts and what he is on the inside. Any man can act a certain way, especially if he wants something from you. But, if you know a person long enough and watch who his close friends are, who he spends most of his time with, this will give you a good idea of what he thinks and feels. This is important so pay close attention. When you go to school does all the kids have different groups they hang out with?” “Yes,” I said. “Have you ever thought about why?” “No.” “Now, is there kids that like to do drugs every day?” “Yes.” “Do they hang out together during school and after school?” “Yes.” “Are there kids who are considered the school bullies?” “Yes” “What about the jocks, or the kids in the chess club, or the kids who’s considered the smart kids, or the kids who get into trouble all the time.” “Don’t all these different groups of kids hang out together?” “Yes,” I said. “Now tell me, why?” Now I understood. “Because they are of the same feather,” I answered. “That’s right,” my grandfather said. Everything all started to come together. I now understood why he had been telling me this all these years. Even to this day over 40 years later, these lessons stay true. I look around the cell block I live in and it’s exactly as it was then. All the people who get high run around together. The others that are into the sticking thinking huddle up together. It isn’t until we learn to use these old clichés of life, and put them to use in our own life, then we can begin to change and move on.