Conquer

A lot of prisoners have the most difficult time with the smallest of things. For all of the people reading this that are incarcerated I want you to think very seriously about this question, when was the last time you conquered something in your life?

I want everyone to take a long look at yourselves and think about every area of your life, don’t just look at the things that brought you to prison. I want everyone to go beyond that, way beyond when you got in trouble. Think about what you were doing that lead you to commit whatever crime you’re incarcerated for. What lead you to that moment? Was it your friends? Maybe someone in your family that you looked up to? Maybe you lived around some people you saw selling drugs and you admired them because they had the money, new cars, and nice clothes. Was it because you dropped out of school, got a job, and quickly found out you couldn’t make enough money to make ends meet? Did you end up having a baby with your girlfriend and wanted to give your child a life that you didn’t have? Did you get hooked on drugs and broke the law to support your habit? Maybe it was a little bit of all these things. Really take a serious inventory of this, look at yourself. Once you figure this out what can you do to insure this will never happen again?

After this take a look at the first day you arrived to prison. Once again, what have you been doing since that first day until now? Really think about this question. Have you joined a gang? Are you sitting and reading books that have no meaning at all? Are you sleeping most of the day? Are you sitting around watching TV all day? Are you playing cards and other games all day? Do you spend all day gambling? Are you sitting around with other men in here trying to make connections, planning on hooking up with them once you get out? Are you involved in criminal activity in here? Do you spend all day getting high on drugs? Take a long look at your past, then study your present situation, are you heading in the right direction? Are the things you’re doing now going to lead you right back to the things you were doing before you came to prison? Also, are the things you’re doing in here helping you to become a better man physically, mentally, spiritually? If not, what can you do to better yourself in all these areas? In my seventeen years of incarceration, I’ve never met one man who likes being in prison. Yet, oddly enough, I’d have to say 95% do absolutely nothing to better themselves while in here.

Since I arrived at the Federal Prison I am at, there has been talks about the First Step Act that our last President signed, everyone is excited about this. The prison finally put some information out about it and everyone is wondering if this will help them get out earlier. Sadly, all of the people I see hoping this will help them will probably be back in jail within a year of their release date. Why, because they’ve done nothing to change themselves. They have never taken a look at their past, what led them to prison, and they’ve done nothing to change in here. The truth is, most of them will be a lot worse when they leave prison than when they arrived.

Fort the people who are sitting in prison reading this that have actually taken a look at their past and present, when was the last time you conquered something in your life? Maybe you have always been a procrastinator, someone who says, I’ll get in shape soon or I’ll start exercising when summer gets here, but summer comes, these people will have another excuse. The truth is most people only dream of getting in great shape, anyone can, but very few do. The simple fact is the only reason they don’t is because they haven’t learned to conquer their minds. Your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy, because our mind and body will control our every move if we let it.

Laziness is another thing that holds prisoners back. Most people in here will stay in bed half of the day if they can. My cellie has told me on several occasions. “If I sleep half of each day, I cheat them out of half of my sentence.” I was quick to tell him, no you will only cheat yourself, because you could have been using that time to exercise, work on a book, or work on yourself. I have pointed out to him that “This time in prison can be the best time we’ll ever have in our lives to work on ourselves mentally, physically and spiritually. We have twenty-four hours a day to work on ourselves.” While sleep is very important for everyone, we only need six to eight hours a day. To someone that is lazy, cannot control their mind and body, the thought of getting up early sounds crazy. Many prisoners have told me that I’m crazy to get up every day at 3:45 am, they don’t realize that for someone like myself this is a great time to work out, pray, and focus my thoughts on all I want to accomplish in life. For me getting up early is easy, because I have conquered sleep.

I have tried to explain to the men in here how getting up early each day is easy for me, I have talked to many prisoners also about writing books or the importance of being careful with what you’re putting inside your brain. Almost all of the youngsters now listen to rap music or they’re reading hood books. When I have asked people in here why they like that music or only those types of books, they really don’t have a good answer. Many in here have told me, “I grew up doing this or listening to that.” Naturally I always respond with “Just because you grew up listening to this or doing that, does that mean you can’t change?” To most in here the thought of changing doesn’t even cross their mind, even the ones who have made the same mistakes over and over.

Everyone reading this take a serious look at every area of your lives, what do you need to conquer? Every day I am looking at myself, seeing if I am slacking in something. I have a date book that I write in every day, I keep track of my work outs, how many miles I do each week, in this book I count up everything I’m doing, I even keep track of how much time I spend with God, because now I can see that I am in control. I never allow my thoughts or body to control me. I understand if I do then I’m going to sleep too much, eat too much, find reasons not to exercise, procrastinate on things I should be doing. The people who never conquer their thinking and that’s why most people in here stay stuck in the same old ways that have led them to prison in the past and keep them coming back all their lives.

To change you must conquer every area of your lives, if you sleep too much, eat too much, if you don’t conquer the smallest things, how on Earth are you going to conquer the big things? Exercise is very important for the overall wellbeing of our lives. Working out releases endorphins throughout our bodies that help us think better, feel better, sleep better, and let’s not forget look better. When I look at a woman that works out, I already know she cares about how she looks and feels. Caring about how she looks and feels, there is a good chance she cares about all of the areas of her life. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest, we are not to spend our lives sitting around doing nothing. If you really want to enjoy everything life has to offer, you must conquer your own life first. If you are sitting around in here wasting your days doing nothing to help yourself, then truthfully you are wasting your life. There is no getting away from it, you are either moving forward in life or you are moving backward. Everyone around me in prison has dreams, every person I have talked to through the years has told me how they hope to leave here and do this or that with their lives. It’s great to have dreams, because it’s dreams that give us hope for a better life. With dreams we can see a future.

Once again, for all the prisoners reading this, when was the last time you conquered something in your life? If you cannot conquer the small things, how are you going to leave prison and conquer all of your dreams? Little by little, learn to overcome the small obstacles that hold you back in life, because once you do, there will be no holding you back from making all of your dreams come true.