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By Jay Goodman

I just finished another chapter called Clichés, and it really holds a lot of truth to life and how to read the people around us. But if a man was to use these clichés to read himself, he could quickly see the direction his life is heading. Why it seems to be easy for everyone to look at the next man and judge them, it is very difficult for people to look at themselves. But I promise everyone reading this, if you were to use the saying I just wrote about and look at yourself, you will have a good idea of what’s going to happen to you. Or at least see where your life is heading. One great thing about this self-reflection is people can lie to everyone around them, but it’s impossible for a man to lie to himself.

Now it’s easy to make excuses for why you’re doing something, but in everyone’s heart they will know the truth. The problem with most people is they don’t like to look at themselves, especially people in prison. It’s much easier for them to sit around talking about others. I have learned an important lesson throughout my years of incarceration. Most of the people in here that spend their time talking about everyone else, are usually the one who are afraid to look at themselves. Not one of them want to take a long look at their own issues, or maybe they have and don’t like what they’ve seen. So, it becomes easy for them to spend their time each day talking about everyone else. If you look around you, these men are easy to see, because all of their conversations are about the next man. This guy does this, this guy does that. I understand that prisoners need to vent, we all can get frustrated with certain people, or with the system. But with some it’s every single day. Sometimes I wondered if these men ever have anything constructive on their mind. And of course, the answer is no. Because if they did, they would understand that by giving all their thoughts and attention to someone else does not benefit themselves in anyway. I wonder sometimes if people in prison were to really look at themselves in a different way, would they change. I have several people I talk with on a daily basis. And I heard one say, “I really need to do something, because when I leave here, I was thinking about still selling drugs.�? This guy is 40 years old; he will be somewhere around 45 or more when he leaves prison. I read him my chapters each week before I mail them out. I have tried to encourage him to write a book and start generating some type of income for himself. He likes the idea, and I hope he follows through. There are thousands of men just like this man sitting in prison. They have the ability to do different but to patience to it to use.

One of the biggest problems with most of the prisoners is patience. The majority of prisoners I’d say 80% lack patience in their life. And because of this they continue making the same mistakes over and over. Another big problem is how they spend their time in here. I am not just talking about the men sitting in here getting high. Everyone knows what’s going to happen to them, it’s either die or spend the rest of their lives in an out of prison. I am talking about the other men who don’t get high. How do you spend your days will have a huge impact on you once you leave? Which brings me to my question, how are you spending your days? For everyone reading this that’s in prison, really think about this question. Don’t just think about it for a moment, but give this question some serious thought.

Because what we’re doing in here will affect us once we leave. It’s like a person who sits at home all day watching TV eating junk food. After years of doing this, it will naturally affect the person physically as well as mentally. The lack of exercise to this person will begin to show after years, he will put on weight, and his body will become soft. After decades he will start having trouble with his back, legs, and it will become difficult for him to walk very far because he will run out of air. The same is true for the man who sits around in prison doing nothing for years or decades. Everyone needs to sit down somewhere and ask yourself that question, how are you spending your days? Is each day being spent positively or negatively? Are you growing as a man mentally or physically? Or is your day spent destroying yourself? You don’t have to be using drugs, you could just be wasting your days doing nothing that has any benefit to you. Look at your day like this, are you spending your day is watching TV? Are you sitting around with a bunch of dudes complaining? Are you exercising? Are you chasing drugs every day? Who are your friends? Are they someone who you’re growing from? What kinds of music do you listen to? What kinds of books are you reading? What are your conversations based on? What are you sitting around thinking about all day? Do you sleep too much? Eat too much? Because you are the master of your ship, and your ship will only run as good as you allow it to run. If you don’t think for a minute that what you do in here will have an effect on you, you better think again. It’s a proven fact the people who come to prison and don’t accomplish nothing, have the highest return rate. It’s a proven fact that once a person has two or more prison numbers, they will spend their entire lives coming in and out. That is why it’s so important to look over everything I just talked about. Because what we’re doing in here will have a huge impact on what happens to us once we leave prison.

A person who goes to college to become a lawyer or a doctor spend around eight or 10 hours a day reading about the subject. All of their thoughts are given to becoming a lawyer or doctor. Besides spending all these hours reading, they will listen to countless hours of lectures given by people who work in the field. They will also be given tapes to listen to over the weekends and holidays. They will watch hours an hours of video or how lawyers won different trials, or how doctors perform different operations. Everything that happens in these kids lives over the next six years will be based around the subjects of being a lawyer or a doctor. To become a lawyer or a doctor the teachers understand that everything these kids do over these years will have an impact on their lives and how they become. What they watch, read, and listen to will have an effect on how these kids turn out. I use these two professions as an example of what happens to someone who spends their time for long periods of years thinking, reading and watching videos of something positive. The outcome is they will leave college and have a long productive life helping people. But look at the road it took them to reach that position. Well, now let’s look at most prisoners. Most of the people in prison will do five years or longer. Especially the man and woman in federal prison. So, what do we do with these years will have a big impact on our lives.
Just like the kids who went to college for six years, their days, weeks, months, and years for structured with studying, reading, videos, and lectures. Their time wasn’t wasted.

If most prisoners will take a look at how their time is being spent, they would have a good idea of what’s going to happen to them. Look at what kind of books you’re reading, are these books going to help you become the best version of yourself? What kind of music are you listening to? You see, why it may seem crazy to most people, but what we read and listen to every day does have an impact on our thinking. Another thing, who are your friends in here? Are the people you’re sitting around with a good influence on you, or are they a negative influence. The clichés I wrote about in my last chapter, birds of a feather flock together. This is a fact of life. There’s plenty of good people in prison, but is this person going to help you heed in the right direction, or the wrong direction? Because how you spend your time in here, will be how do you spend your time out there.

I know a guy in here who doesn’t get high, but he’s been to state prison several times and now he’s in federal prison. Since I’ve known him, I can understand why he keeps making the same mistakes. Not long ago there was a guy leaving prison from our cell block. And all this man did in here was get high. Every single day this man would come out of his cell soon as the door is open in the morning and get high on K-2. I seen him high on this that night he started fighting with the chessboard. This other guy told me the day he left, I have his address, I’m going to look him up when I get out. He went on to tell me, I’ve been locked up three years, and I only have five numbers of people I’m going to call once I’m out. I couldn’t help but think, if you’re only have five numbers of people you’re going to call once you get out, and one of them is this guy, my God, I can only imagine what the other four look like. Why this guy doesn’t do drugs, he hasn’t yet learned that what he listens to, what he reads, who his friends are have an impact on his life.

The outcome of everyone’s lives has to do with what we read, listen to, and who we spend our time with. Our dominant thoughts will either lead us to greatness, or to a miserable end.